Saturday, June 14, 2008

News You Wish would Never Happen!

This happened on Tuesday morning.

On Tuesday midnight, i was smsing with someone. That night, there was a football match between Holland and Italy. Feeling sleepy, i felt asleep around 12pm. That was a happy night because i had a good conversation with the one i smsed with.

I was asleep with the light on...

When i woke up, it was just 5 am. Maybe i can't sleep well with the light on. Feeling bored, i got to me computer and checked the news for UEFA Euro 2008 of that night online. I was shocked with the defeat of Italy with a 0 -3! What the fuck is wrong with them?! They were the fucking World Cup Champion!

Suddenly, someone nudged me in MSN. It was Kevin Young. What the hell are you people? Don't you ever need to sleep? i planned to ignore him. But his message caught me.

"Hey. u know the news d?"
and i answered,
"what news? Is it Holland 3-0 Italy?"


the next response of his was a link.
http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2008-06-10&sec=malaysia&art=0610mb30.txt

i opened it. You got to be fucking kidding me!!! It was a news about 9 secondary school students turned the Pahang state legislative assembly hall into their playground. (a place where all the ministers or mayors of the state having meeting in, they discuss the regulations of the state in it)

i checked those pictures. There was me in some of these pictures!!

HOLY SHIIIITTT !!! I'm so fucking dead!

"Their act in the hall was snapped and the photographs, with comical conversation blurbs, were circulated on the Internet recently.

An investigation conducted by the daily showed that the group were Form Six students of a prominent school in Kuantan.

The students – playing the roles of the judge, witnesses, prosecutor, accused and others – were making fun while enacting a court case.

When the court “case” reached an impasse, the accused suggested to the judge to chase assemblymen out of the hall. " (extracted from another english newspaper, it reported this news of ours on the next day)

It scared the SHIT out of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, the fucking scariness enveloped me after our conversations. I was so fucking horrified! For fuck's sake, i've never felt so bad in me life! Whole me body was effortless. Me mind can't control me own body. i can't sleep for the rest of the night. i was scared of going to jail.(as you know, there are many faggots in the jail, who can't wait to crack your fucking ass wide...jeje...just kidding~~just simply worried of getting record and a ruined future )

Around 7am, i checked in TV. i watched the reported programme 《新闻报报看》 (for those who doesn't know about this programme, it's a programme reporting daily news in a relaxing way. it shows the covers of every chinese newspaper and has a little discussion on it)

FUCK!! i saw it! It was on night edition ChinaPress! All our pictures were splashed all over on the 1st page of that fucking newspaper! Fortunately, the hosts didn't have a discussion on it!!

This is the day-edition ChinaPress
(The pictures was smaller than those that are in night edition.)


Can you see it?! It's fucking huge!! And it makes the news becoming national issue!! Something like Osama news, like we are a big threat to the country! Beside our news is the report about the problems of the raising price of petrol(feeling a little proud meself to be able to have this report beside ours). FUCK ChinaPress!! don't you ever have some better things to write?

(A little side story,
the 1st time i saw this pictures was when we took it in the assembly hall.
The second time i saw it was on this FUCKING newspaper!! i have no ideas what the dialogue is talking about.
According to the report, it's about argument on the 5% goverment tax of KFC.
Christ, that was CREATIVE!! well done to who put this dialogue on! BRAVO!!)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the story of what happening that day,

i remember. In the June of last year (almost a year ago), there were students selected to participate in a trip to the state legislative assembly hall. i was selected by me teacher because i scored me General Knowlege (Pengajian Am) paper very well that month!

Of course there were students from other classes as well. In the morning of 27th June '07, we all left to our destination. The person from the the state legislative assembly hall had given a 2 hour talk about the the state legislative assembly hall itself. Around 11pm, we had our lunch in the other room. The meal was so fucking delicious!! and joking around with friends at the same time.

I was so having fun that moment! i even thought i've been getting luckier that time.

After the lunch. Some of the teachers were sitting there chatting. Some went back to the assembly hall itself chatting with some students. And the person incharge told us to take pictures as we like. He was also chatting with students in the assembly hall. OK, for sure we, a bunch of crazy under-pressure guys would grab this chance tightly!

We posed ourself and took nice pictures of it! We posed just like no other teenagers. Exaggerating poses with fucking ugly faces were uncontrolable. We were having so much laughters! And those made our day!!


After that, we had some group photo taking. Around 12.30pm, we went back to the school by bus again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

See? it's pretty normal, right?! let's ask you guys a question.

If you are in the legislative assembly hall yourself together with a whole bunch of crazy close friends, would you do the same as we did? taking funny pictures. (please be reminded that it's not easy to go in there. It's the chance of the lifetime!!)

I bet many of you would have answered " YES!! why not??!! "

OK, to those who are worried, everything is okie now. The minister said that, they won't report this to the police(THANK GOD~!!). But they wanted an investigation running in the school among students and teachers. i think i'll receive the call from school in no time. But i've already get meself ready.

I've heard that all the Pengajian Am teachers were questioned by the Minister himself. (I' so so so so so sorry!!) Even the new Principal who just transferred in got questioned. (I'm sorry again) But my juniors said that my ex class teacher, Mr. Yong ( a super super funny teacher, one of my favourites) was giving a surprising response.

"My student ar.....HOW LIP HENG!!!...so creative!!!"........okie! thank you, teacher. though i just simply posed.

that's the news coming out the next day.

http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2008-06-11&sec=mas&art=0611mc64.txt

Okie!!

I want to apologise to those teachers who were getting into trouble with this news by all means! I'm really so sorry and so guilty about what happened. I'm really sorry!!


Thanks me friends as well for their concerns! I'm alright now. Please, if you can, please stop asking me anything about this fucking thing! i've been answering the same questions for few days. i'm getting a little bit fed up. thank you for your coorperation.

and

FUCK those who is trying to make a bad joke of it!! you can't fucking take me down by that!

Finally,

I want to thank SOMEONE who really helps me get through everything of this. SOMEONE accompanies me and consoles me, tries everything to cheer me up! and SOMEONE did it! After all, i'm not so sad anymore. Thank you so so much!! Love you...

-Lippy-

P.S. thank god there weren't much friends of mine reading ChinaPress and The Star. Maybe they didn't read newspaper much
P.S. if the news was reported in SinChew or Nanyang, i bet we guys are already in trouble by now
P.S. One more question, am i famous now?!! XD

Friday, May 2, 2008

The sunlight of tomorrow


I always like to see the sunlight! once i see the sunlight, i feel kind of warm and relief that THE WORLD ARE NOT COMING TO THE END, at least for the new day! i am realy afraid that i won't be able to see the sunlight of tomorrow!

Ok, I think the world is going to be finished! In what kind of way?! I don't really know. May it be tsunami that change the world map, may it be huge flood that destroy part of the country, may it be some kind of drought that causes deaths in some countries, may it be the surfacing of some new unknown fatal diseases, may it be the extinction the animals are facing, may it be the end of the day for human because of the falling environment.......famine, wind storm, tsunami, hurricane, extrem temperature, earthquake, insect infectation, slides, volcanic eruption, wave/surge, wild fire.Every one of those can easily destroy human!


It's flooding and they can do nothing!

Will you really check the sunlight of tomorrow every morning? Do you think u have a chance to see it when a flood is coming and you are busy carrying stuffs? Do you really think you can see it when there is tsunami coming and the sky is mouldy?

These are some effects of the Katrina! what can you do if you are in the city?



There are so many natural disasters happening these days!! And it's getting more and more and more!! Do people really realise that these natural disasters are far more destructive than the what so ever economical depression blah blah blah?!

This is the trends of natural disasters

The problem the world is facing now is the issue of global warming! come on, people, it's GLOBAL WARMING!! GLOBAL WARMING!! OK, apparantly, there are people just didnt realise or they choose not to be getting realise this problem! Why?! FUCK them all!!

Can you use money to spell it off?

Especially those industry-based countries, like US, China. Basically it's every country!! I know the small developing countries and other countries are not in the top 10 list that are stating the 10 countries that produces the most harmful gases into the atmosphere. Come on, every country is producing CO2 into the air!! Don't just said that, "Oh, China and US are the cause of the global warming today! and not really us!" Fuck you, you motherfucker!

This is the screenshot of the movie "The Day After Tomorrow". The Hurricane is attacking LA! Do you think it's going to happen? Mayb it's not now, but i can guarantee it will in the future.

Yeah, US and China are the main cause of the global warming!! but others are also responsible for the problem! Thanks to some of the European countries that start to focusing on the control of the gases releasing from the factories. Come on, US! come on, China! Do you really want to wait till the moment of the natural disasters are destroying all the factories in your own country and really FREEZING your economy?

This is another screenshot of the movie "The Day After Tomorrow".
New ice age is striking US. Maybe US will only realise they are wrong right after the disasters, just like how it is in the movie. This movie is really trying to tell the world that the world is really facing trouble here!

Okie people, everyone should have really got the awareness that the world is dying, and we are dying too! So, we can maybe start doing some steps at our own home. Control the use of air-conditional, carpool, and so on! I don't really think US, China and some other countries would really care about the global warming! Including my country, Malaysia. I don't really see any actions taken my the goverment to solve the problem.


Never mind! If you still want to see sunlight of tomorrow, please think about the world~~ Whatever you do, please think about if it will be real damn good for the rest.

Guys, i still want to see the sunlight of tomorrow. Help me!

Monday, April 21, 2008

黄石的孩子

我今天早上看了一部电影,叫做‘黄石的孩子’。本人觉得这部电影真的很不错!电影到最后我的眼泪就不知不觉得从眼眶里流了出来,流了好久,心情一直不能平复下来!

故事是由真人真事而改编的。我始终还存有怀疑世界上是不是真的有这么伟大的人,结果我错了!

我为故事而感动,为伟人的年轻逝世而遗憾,为演员精湛的演技而赞赏,为日本人在南京大屠杀的冷血行为而感到愤怒,为华人在南京大屠杀的无助而难过,为乱世里还存有坚持和善良而感到温暖!

影片根据真人真事改编,讲述的是半个多世纪前,一名英国青年George A. Hogg乔治•何克在中国帮助一群孩子的故事。坦白说,这样一个故事乍听起来似乎并不是很吸引人,但如果当你了解到故事的背景与当年那惨绝人寰的南京大屠杀有关时,相信你多少会开始留意此片。

影片讲述上个世纪30年代末抗日战争时期的中国,来自英国的记者乔治·何克正值赶上日寇正在南京地区进行残忍的大屠杀,他为了告诉世界战争的真相,深入战 场进行报道。不幸被日军俘虏,后被新四军杰克·陈解救,在逃离治病之时,偶遇日寇屠杀过后幸存下来的60多名性格各异孤儿,语言不通的乔治肩负起关怀照顾 这些孩子的责任,战争更加逼近的时候,为了避免这些孩子再次受到残害,乔治和杰克等人义无反顾带领这60多名中国孤儿沿着中国的古丝绸之路跋涉千余公里, 历尽艰险,越过雪山来到沙漠的边缘逃避战火。

这部抗日题材的影片拍起来不同于一般的抗日题材的影片,而这部影片的英雄人物塑造也与一般的英雄人物不一样。

一般与战争有关的影片,枪林弹雨的战争场面一定是被重视,也是大家选择看的原因。在里头的英雄通常就是犹如我们的超人,犹如我们的Rambo。以关键性的抉择拯救了全部的人民,使国家不再面临灾害!但是这部电影给人确实另外一种感觉!

电影里的英雄不是我们所想象的那样,英勇无畏、热血沸腾、奋勇向前。。。他在南京亲眼目睹日本人残忍杀害无辜的中国百姓及焚尸的一幕的时候,他并不是勇敢坚强的,而是感到彷徨无助,震惊,恐惧与不知所措。过后他将被砍头的一幕,他更没有展示一个传统英雄的气概 - 视死如归。他也和我们一样,他也恐惧,他也怕死!他由不接受孩子们到接受他们,全心为他们,视他们为己出,到最后帮助孩子们脱离苦海。他逐渐明白什么是爱,也就是他慢慢地从一个年轻小子慢慢的变成一个可以背负重任的男人。这才是全片的最大看点!

何克教孩子们如何自力更生到千里迢迢的搬迁以躲避战火,这展现出他的人道主义和他怜悯的心!他的精神实质的我们去敬佩的!(别忘了,他是真实的故事!)影片的男主角 Jonathan Rhys Meyers长得非常俊俏,使到大家对George Hogg这位早逝英雄人物更加觉得另外惋惜!

最后最后最后,也是最最最最最最让人感动的是电影的尾端!也是最最最最最最最打动人心!大家会不会想要知道到底那时候经历了这种种的小孩们还活着吗?!

是的!!!!他们还活着!

(我看戏看到这里,我就更加感动了!眼泪好像水龙头松了般,完全无法阻止他们一颗一颗的从眼眶里掉出来!!实在太感动了!!试想想,如果当时没有George Hogg的帮助,那些小孩们可能在那时候已经是炮灰了!他们哪可能还存活到现在?如果没有Hogg的教导和关怀,他们已不可能自己自力更生地活到现在!!

他这种当自己是蜡烛,燃烧自己,照亮别人的德行是多么可敬!!!)

与片尾字幕同时出现的,是对片中几个孩子的原型的真实采访片段。白发苍苍的他们将前尘一一细数,共同追忆何克的生平。他们所说的故事更是能过让人热泪眼眶!!震撼人心!!

好的,以下是我上网找到的一页网站(是根据真实的采访!),非常值得一看:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/book_extracts/article3510793.ece


****后记:是的,我个人非常之推荐这一套影片!!值得看了再看!!

The story is extracted from Ocean Devil The Life and Legend of George Hogg by James MacManus)

I want this book! Anyone wants to prepare me my next year birthday present?or the christmas present of this year? I really want this book so much!!!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

我在巴塞罗那的第七天 (上)

好了,我摆脱了STPM,订了机票,飞了过去巴塞罗那,的确,我在那儿过的十分开心!也做了很多疯狂的事!我很开心我能在十八岁的时候就体验了很多其他一般人都不曾体验的生活。我为我的经历和体验而感到骄傲!正所谓“人不疯狂枉少年!”,我个人非常之赞同这么一句话!我认为年轻人就要为自己争取自己想要的东西。当然也要在各个方面及因数的许可之下才能争取。我就觉得很庆幸,因为我没有很多因数和问题的约束下,可以争取我所想要的东西,就如这个。

说回来,上次我提到我们正走向地铁站。好了,在地铁站,我们很大一群人在吵闹,等着我们要的地铁到来。过了不超过两分钟,它来了。我们一群人就塞进同一个包厢里头,很热闹。有的人就痴呆的坐着,有些人就大声的唱起西班牙语的歌(小弟不是听得很太明白,就不明白),也有人在聊天。我站都站不稳了,靠在旁边抓着旁边的铁柱。Carlos和Laura在谈天。我一个人就在那边尝试站稳我的脚步(我已经醉到不行了!)。和不经意的,有一个女生就跑过来和我谈天。我也忘了他叫什么名字。但是她长得还蛮不错的。她问了我很多关于中文的东西。语言啊,习俗啊!(当然用英语交谈,她的英语还不赖!)我们聊得很开心!不骗你,我们站得越来越靠近,越来越亲切!(可能我喝了点酒,谈起话来也特别放得开,不会因为不认识而不交谈。)在这同时,我忽然听到Carlos和Laura再跟我说话。我转过头来听清楚。他们异口同声地说“go,go flirt with her!keep flirting!she's hot!”我真的当场愣住,WHAT!!我也不知道那时候是怎样,我就走回过去他们那儿!(两步而已。)我就问他们为什么?!!Carlos就回答说:“she's hot!a perfect girl for one night stand!she's seducing you!go,go for her!dun worry about us!”Laura也说:“yayaya,you have to try it!you are 18,you can't be a virgin!” 我真的被扎到!!这是一群什么样的兄弟姐妹啊!!真是他妈的西北够力!我听了听,就表现出一副不是很有兴趣的样子。那个女生也应该听得明他们两个所说的,也看得出来我不太有兴趣,就默默地走回他朋友的身边和他们聊天,看来那个女生真的是要一夜情!(我妹妹告诉我的)。

Alexey一直都和我们在一块。我们在地铁的时候就不怎样理他。。。

到了我们要停的站,大家纷纷的出地铁。我哥哥就拉着我,他说我们不需要先下,因为我们可以在多几个站再下,下去刚刚麦加放车的地方。我本来要叫住Alexey,麦加讲不用,说要玩玩他。哈哈!结果他就跟着大伙儿下车了。当们正要关上的时候,他就才发现我们我们没有下地铁!门关上的时候,我就听见他骂了几句粗话!门关上了,就看见他的口一直不停的大声喊着!但是听不到声音,应该也是一连串的粗话,然后几锤几锤的打在门的玻璃上面,然后比了一个中指!地铁又开始开动了。。。结果他追上了几步。。好笨哦,还要追上来。。。

我们在过几站之后,就下去了。我们就往我们放车的地方走去。一路上都还是有说话的。走着走着,迎面而来走来了另一个很帅的男生。这个男生是属于文静气质派的帅。为什么我要将他解释的那么清楚呢?并不是我开始喜欢男生了,我绝对对我的性向非常有自信。我不否认我还蛮喜欢看唱得好看的男生(女生会看美女,所以我不觉得看俊男就代表你是同性恋)。我也不否认我有时候我会和男生们玩一些有的没的的游戏,而行这些游戏都在同性恋的边缘,看了我们玩这一种游戏的人都可能认为我们是同性恋。但是我很坦白地说,我们因好玩而玩的,我个人绝对是‘直’的!讲回这个男生,他迎面走来,出乎我意料之外的是,他和麦加抱了起来!(通常在西班牙,男生与男生的打招呼方式是握个手)然后他们互相亲脸颊,是亲到靠近嘴巴的那一种,太离谱了!(通常在西班牙,女生与女生的打招呼方式,还有男生和女生打招呼的方式 都是亲脸颊,但是都是轻轻的那一种)更夸张的来了,他们很亲密的嘴对嘴的热吻了一番!!(我不懂是不是法式那一种啦,看不太清楚。在街上,有点暗,况且我也不好意思一直盯着他们看啊!)Carlos,Laura和我都很自动的站在一边然后自个儿围起来聊天。他们也看得出来我的疑惑。哈哈,原来那个很帅的男生叫做Miquel(米克),是麦加的‘亲密好友’(因为不懂要放男朋友还是女朋友)。我们谈了很久,当中我会不由自主的向他们两个的方向望一望。他们亲的好豪放哦!!我知道我这样子看是有点不礼貌,但是我控制不到自己!这是我人生第一次看两个男生这么近的在我面前亲起来,狂野的那一种!普通的男生亲亲我有看过(我也有试过,没什么大不了),但是亲的这样激烈的,通常只有在以同性恋为主体的电影或是连续剧里才看得到,比如说,Brokeback Mountain 或 Queer As Folk。请大家原谅我!好了,我们过后就坐上麦加的车去我们的下一站。

Friday, March 7, 2008

Jokes of Election of Malaysia (they r just JOkeS)

These are the jokes i found from my friends. It's quite funny~

JOKE 1
While walking down the street one day a Malaysian Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
.
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
.
"Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Yang Berhormat.
.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says St. Peter.
.
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves on lobsters, caviar and the most expensive food there is.
.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
.
"Now it' s time to visit heaven."
.
So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
.
The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think Ai yam better off in hell."
.
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
.
"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
.
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning just like you during an election...... Today you voted."
.
VOTE WISELY IN THE COMING ELECTION

JOKE 2

1、Pak Lah, Najib And Sami Vellu 同坐直升機巡視。
Sami Vellu 說:'如果我丟一千塊下去,撿到那一個人一定很高興。'
Najib 說:'如果我丟兩張五百元下去,那就有兩個人很高興了。'
Pak Lah 說:'如果我丟十張一百元下去,就有十個人很高興了。'
這個時候 ........
駕駛員喃喃自語地說:'何不把自己都丟下去,讓兩千一百萬人都高興呢?'
.
2、Sami Vellu 希望提高自己的聲望,想要發行一款有自己肖像的郵票.....
發行過了一個多月之後,Sami Vellu 想要問看看視察看看銷路如何.....
Sami Vellu : '銷售情形怎麼樣?'
郵政總局局長:'還算不錯,只不過常常有人抱怨黏不牢!Sami Vellu : '怎麼會呢?' Sami Vellu 隨手拿了一張郵票,塗了一點口水在郵票背面,便試貼在信封上 ....
Sami Vellu :' 這樣不是黏得很緊嗎?'
郵政總局局長: '可是......大家....都把口水吐在正面啊 ......'
.
3、深夜,Najib 去買宵夜,結果在路上遇到搶匪 …
搶匪拿著槍指著 Najib 說:' 把身上的錢交出來!'
Najib 勃然大怒說:'你這什麼態度?我可是堂堂Vice Prime Minister 耶!'
搶匪:'喔,那……把我的錢還來。 '
.
4、某天,Prime Minister 、Parliment members...等大官一起參加一個會議,結果發生連環車禍,送至醫院急救,記者們聞風趕至醫院....
稍久,醫生出來了,記者忙著問'醫生!醫生!Prime Minister 有救嗎?'
醫生沮喪的搖搖頭說:'唉 ..Prime Minister 沒救了...'
記者又問:'醫生!醫生!Minister 有救嗎?'
醫生又沮喪的搖搖頭說:'唉 ...也沒救了...'
記者就問:'那 ...到底誰有救?'
醫生精神一振說: 'Malaysia 有救了!'
.
5、有一天Sami Vellu 往某家精神病院視察,所有的病人都站在走廊上高聲歡呼,
Sami Vellu 萬歲!Sami Vellu 萬歲!
只有一名病人面無表情,對Sami Vellu 不理不睬。
Sami Vellu 看到了,問院長說:'那位病人為什麼不對我歡呼呢?'
院長:'因為他今天精神非常正常。'
.
6、一輛競選車載著Sami Vellu 競選團隊開到鄉村去造勢,不幸在山間小路上翻車。
正在農田作活的老農民看見這情景,就趕到出事地點,可是車上的人都死光了。
于是他挖了一個土坑,把幾個政客都埋了。
過了幾天,負責事故勘察的警察找到那個老農民,問他那幾個政客到哪里去了,老農民說己經埋了。
警察趕緊追問:'他們都死了嗎? '
老農回答說:'嗯…,我看到Sami Vellu 在我埋他的時候大叫說他還沒死。'
警察說:'那你怎麼也把他埋了?'
老農說:'你知道的嘛? 這個Sami Vellu 從不說實話。

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These are purely jokes i found, don't get angry by them. Just laugh them off.
These jokes are taken from the blog of my friend, Franson. Thank you for these!

Monday, February 25, 2008

疯狂的第六天(下)

踢完球回来了,休息了一会儿,就要开始‘装置自己’。因为晚上和我哥哥的朋友出去玩,要真正的体验一下传统的西班牙生活了。真正认识我的人都懂小弟不太喜欢打扮自己,小弟不爱梳头发,也不爱穿长裤,是一个蛮邋遢的人。没办法,出去见面的都不是自己的朋友,而是我哥哥的朋友。还好Laura也有跟去。这样我还放心。但是我还担心的是当她出去寻找猎物的时候,我又会被冷落了。Jess 因为伤风感冒的事而不能去,而且我和她还没有这么熟啦!

晚上的时候我哥哥的朋友来找他,是一个超级美女!wow!!那个女生实在太美了!我觉得她长得像魔戒里头的艾文公主!真的好美哦!之后她就载我们去了一间百货公司去找麦加!他将会和我们一起去clubbing。(我还没告诉大家的是他是同性恋的,外国的同性恋男生都好帅哦!不骗你!可能帅的男生比较容易和帅的男生互相吸引吧!当然我还是有看到一些不是很帅的啦!)我们等他放工!同时间也认识了一个朋友,叫alexey。是一个蛮高的男生!不过我的哥哥和妹妹看起来都不是很喜欢他!过后等麦加放工了,我们有坐车去巴塞罗那的市中心!麦加的车,一路上还是有说有笑的。我们有讲了麦加的中国妹妹,麦加车上的有趣玩具,我哥哥吻过的女生的照片等等。。。还蛮有趣的!

我们先将车放好然后我们去了当地的一家华人餐馆,原来我们要先为我哥哥的同学庆祝生日,她是一个女生,叫Sarah。满漂亮的,我觉得她的眼睛很美。(这里的大学生通常都会在华人餐馆聚会,因为还蛮便宜的,有比普通的西餐厅来的便宜,大学生也比较付得起。我们走进那间餐厅,哇!好多人!都是年轻人啦!来庆祝生日的朋友大约有三十位吧,好热闹!我们点了菜,叫了酒。开始谈话。原来当地的年轻人如果要去clubbing,之前都会先喝了点酒,把自己弄high,到时候才玩的开心!其实说实在的,那天的情形野蛮尴尬的。因为那是一间华人餐馆,客人都是白种人,我一个黄种人和一大班白种人坐在一起,真的还蛮搞笑的。

之后麦加的另外一个朋友来到我的那个桌子,蛮胖的,叫做Javilan。我听了他的名字不禁地笑了一下,我哥哥就问我干什么,我就说了,这个名字还蛮搞笑的。因为那个lan的读音还蛮像我们华人的粗语。就是那个广东话的男生的鸟!那个‘鸟’在西班牙语中叫做polla,最后我们就叫他Javipolla(西班牙语的读法和英语的不太一样,Javipolla在英语是读为Habipoya)想想下,就想到了HarryPotter,还蛮象的!再想想,就想到了Jilipolla(读为hi li po ya)!Jilipolla在西班牙语是一个很粗的字,犹如Motherfucking!结果是那个朋友很惨从此就被叫做Javipolla!(就是Javi‘鸟’)我在这里慎重的向他说声对不起!!因为我一时的魔鬼想法弄到你往后的人生都充满了阴影!真的很对不起!

吃完了(也没吃多少,因为是不是那么的好吃,我叫的姜葱鸡,我可以肯定那不是鸡肉,据他们当地人的说法,当地的华人餐馆喜欢将猫肉来充当鸡肉!!很恶心,结果后来我都要我哥哥不要再带我去华人餐馆。)大家就开始喝酒。现场气氛越来越好!我哥哥的朋友还问我一些简单的华语字,好像谢谢。结果当晚我哥哥的一些朋友就不断的向餐馆的员工说谢谢!要离开的时候,有留下很多酒!结果我哥哥就灌了我蛮多的酒!我大概喝了整整半瓶的酒!(好像是桂花酒,很难喝!)好high!每个人就都喝了不少!

在餐馆外面,我认识更多的朋友!有一个人拿了一瓶Martini!我哥哥三七二十一就拿过来给我喝!还不错!那时的我真的好high!我懂我醉的时候的性格会像是一个六,七岁的小孩子。我还记得我们在去地铁的路上不停的追呀,跑啊,唱啊!(当然烟也少不了,不骗大家,我当然也有吸了一些。。)全部人肩靠着肩一起走到地铁站附近。我哥哥和麦加就先去附近的银行里提钱,还有几位啦。我在里头发日梦的时候,突然又一阵声音吵醒了我,我看过去。我真的不敢相信我看得,我哥哥竟然和麦加在银行里的地上玩起来!两个人竟然在地上互相搔痒!!两个人一直在地上‘缠绵’和‘打滚’。好好笑哦!玩了大概有5分钟吧。。。真的好疯狂哦!两个大男人竟然在玩这样的东西!(我在马来西亚根本没看过这样的东西,的确让我有点大开眼界。可能马来西亚的地上都很肮脏吧!不错,外国的确比马来西亚来得干净得多!是很很很很多!!)这时已经是晚上十二点了。。。对于西班牙人来说,还早得很呢!我会在下篇文章中再继续!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

疯狂的第六天(上)

第六天
这一天简直就是疯狂。小弟记不太清楚早上发生过什么事,应该是和我的老哥玩PS 2,玩到午餐为止。我们玩了足球游戏,大家都晓得小弟是很少玩电玩的。因为小弟认为在读书期间玩电玩是非常浪费时间的。但是现在不同了,时间多的是,就舍命陪君子咯。看来我慢慢会上瘾。

午餐之后,休息了一会儿,玩了几场足球游戏。然后我们就换衣服。去哪里?哈哈我们整复武装,准备踢足球去了。(小弟去年九月才开始玩足球,到目前为止,球龄才十个月。因为之间又断断续续地停了五个月。去年十一,二月,今年四,五月和十一月。小弟怕会在这么多鬼面前献丑啊!更怕丢了马来西亚人的脸。)我们在我小妹妹的幼儿园里踢球。还需要爬墙进,管理员也不管,一点也不害怕我们会破坏学校里的公物。这里的人民都很有公民意识。喝醉酒后就不懂啦!嘿嘿...

在那里,有昨天喝酒的卡,还有一些新朋友,还有几个豆丁。开始踢球了,我尽量不要打攻击的位置,小弟完全没有攻击性,是完全没有。所以我只是一直躲在后面防守。和在关丹一样,我的队友永远是攻击的,永远不会回来防守的。(欧大洋,陆炜宾,甘天维,和你们一样!!!)自然而然的,我一直不停地有三对一的局面。还好我方的门将很好,再加上我防守得不错,才没有死得很惨。(不是我讲的啊,是他们说我防守得不错)结果好像以一球之差输了。

这里的人的足球技术实在没话说。平均技术当然比我们好很多很多。但是大洋,你不用担心,我觉得你都比他们好。但是我这一班朋友都不是踢足球的料,但也都已经很好了。实在是很高兴,因为可以和朋友一起玩,还有Jona。是我两年前一起看球的卡。哇,在五度摄氏下踢球,又是另外一番滋味!手脚在踢球间就失去知觉了,完全的麻木,身上吃球饼的地方更是比平时来得比较痛,也痛得比较久。我们踢完足球后就去了我旧学校附近喝下午茶。之后就回家去了,我只是已经昏昏欲睡了,实在有够累。
但是晚上还有更棒的节目。想休息确又休息不了。是感到兴奋?还是紧张呢?

(休息一下再写吧,小弟累了)

Friday, December 21, 2007

在外国的新生活

在巴塞罗那住下来也有两个礼拜了,来总结一下。基本上我本身并没有做过什么很伟大的事,生活过的不是很充实。但是、至少我的心情轻松了很多。不再感到非常压抑。

第一天, 一回到家就先处理我的行李。接着我的老豆弄了我好爱吃的食物给我吃。就是法国面包夹烟肉。我的最爱。我打了几通电话回马来西亚。报平安之类的。发生了一个小插曲。我差一点找不到我的钱。吓到我不见了半条命,数目还不小,还后在床底下找到了。之后,我的哥哥就拿了一瓶酒给我喝。我本来在下飞机以来就感到头有点晕晕的,喝了这瓶酒后,我更是不清醒了。看到的东西走在转。可能有一部分也是因为时差的问题。迷迷糊糊的和家人相聚后就跑到床上去了。

第二天, 起身了。头还是感到有一点痛,真的是很晕。结果也是迷迷糊糊地过了这一天。但是我还记得啦,我本身的记性也蛮不错的。整个下午,我自个儿学习西班牙文。学了整个下午。头更是晕倒了一个不行。我哥哥在傍晚的时候就回来了。他跟我讲晚上回去老地方去和朋友聚一聚,‘喝喝茶’。这里的喝茶就是喝酒啦。没办法,不好意思退掉,就认命了。在去的路上,我哥哥告诉了我一个秘密,弄到我震惊不已!!这里不方便告诉大家。到了老地方只有我哥哥和他的朋友,Victor和我哥哥的朋友的女朋友,Vane(那间酒吧的名字是rodamon,但是我叫他doraemon,有比较好记得吧!)喝了两瓶酒。他们汹涌我吸烟,我吸了几口,不行了。但是最后就叫了阿拉伯水烟来吸。我个人本身在马来西亚吸过几次。就对我而言,我还接受到。

第三天,没有什么特别的地方,不过我哥哥的好朋友来我们的家不知道做什么。应该是处理一些大学里的东西吧!跟你们说,这个人叫麦加。我两年前都和他见过几次面,一起玩过游戏。他本身是超帅的,帅到无话可说。我看到了都好想和他成为好朋友。身材和身高都是一流的。再加上他又有一双电力无比的电眼。整个人都被他吸引了。(我不是同性恋...说实在的,谁都会被他电着)听我哥哥讲。他是非常受欢迎的,不分男女。

第四天,也是一样,没什么特别的。我哥哥他又去了老地方去喝酒。还好他这群朋友我不认识,不然我也难逃一劫,还好啊!phew...不过我在这里也下载了好几部电影来看。完全满足了我看电影的瘾。例如我看了也有点为之动容的一部戏。是九五年Tom Hanks的作品。“Forrest Gump”阿甘正传。蛮不错的一部电影。听说在奥斯卡里得了不少奖。包括最佳电影,最佳男主角等等。不妨一看

第五天,早上和下午都是过着平常的生活。晚上哥哥从大学回来。他非常之兴奋!!我心里开始有了莫名其妙的不祥感觉。不出我所料,今晚又要喝酒去了。但是今晚特别多人,我们先去附近的比萨店,等他的朋友。结果出乎我所料,竟然是我两年前的西班牙同学,丹尼。除了他,还有另外两位。有一个看起来超级呆的,都不懂是不是白撞的。一起去了老地方。当然还有其他人,Victor Vane是少不了的。还有一些朋友。和平常一样。喝酒的喝酒,吸烟的吸烟。那个看起来超级呆的人,竟然不会吸烟,看他喝酒就辛苦了。哈哈,我们就教他吸烟。超搞笑的。他吸到咽到。咳了几口烟出来。哈哈,之后就汹涌他吸“巧克力”(基本上在西班牙来讲是不合法的,但是每一个人都吸,这个法律也蛮无效的。。算是做个样的吧)。我带头吸了几口。我本身是从来都不曾吸过烟的。但是为了做那么一次坏事,就吸了几口。感觉还不错。因为只有这样,那个呆子才会吸啊!他吸了。。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。真得很搞笑啦!谈天谈天到两点多吧,我们就离开这间酒吧。大伙儿开步去了另一个地方,我也不太晓得他们要去哪里,就跟着去了。到了一个公园。竟然是为了找一支烟。(这支烟是上次有人抽着的时候,警察来了。因为那一种烟也是不合法的。他只好丢进一个洞里头)现在找了回来。那支烟是Marijuana。有一点常识的人都知道这是犯法的,在马来西亚更加不用说。大伙儿轮流吸完那一支烟(对他们而言,轮流吸同一支烟也是一种乐趣来的。因为巧克力和玛丽阿会使到人们处于亢奋的状态。说话时特别亲切。)当然我并没有吸啦,我的自制能力还不错的。之后回家了。

第六天才是最精彩的。。。我活下来的十八年里,目前为止最疯狂的一天。。可能陆续会来。。。呵呵呵呵呵。。。

待续。。。。。。

Saturday, December 15, 2007

另一个家

3rd-6th Dec 2007 STPM考试终于完了,辛苦了这么久,考试完毕的那一刻,心里的石头消失了。本来应该很兴奋,但是当心里的包袱放下后,感觉也并没有想象中的那般喜悦。反之我个人还觉得有点空虚,开始考量关于“未来”的问题。(哇,才多少岁就有这样的想法!!开玩笑嘞……)但是我本身已经计划有了一连串的活动。(这几天我做了我平常很少做的事情,例如我去了Swing,看见阿蔡呕吐的衰样,呵呵呵呵,超级搞笑的,他还发誓以后滴酒不沾。去了CC和朋友玩了两场DOTA,我一生人还只是玩了两次,感觉很好。我回到马来西亚一定要再玩过,玩到两点就回家了。我载阿蔡回家,一路上,他不停的发酒疯,笑到我肚子疼。我也去了JR,(见识了慧仪喝醉酒的样子。)之后就去辨轮的小聚会。晚上回到家赶紧收拾行李,晚上二时,我去了大洋家借球鞋,然后两个马癞佬谈了三个小时天,蚊子也拍死了不少。之后回家去了。行李也没有收拾好就睡了。第二天出发的时候大迟到,是在非常的不好意思。

**我在考试前已经决定了要回到我另一个家去放松心情。机票也订了,连要带的东西也想好了。本来也应该开开心心的放松心情去享受生活,但是一些事情发生了。令到我走也走得不安心(当然不是上西天取经啦……) 事情是酱的,应为我用爸爸的钱到外国去,数目也不少,所以家庭里难免会有争执。本来爸爸妈妈也已经答应了,但我那另两位哥哥不知道是羡慕还是妒嫉,竟然在家挑起我出国的问题弄到家无安宁之日。从我开始考试的三个星期里,四巴嘴不停地对着我这个家中最年幼的,也面对着绝大的考试压力的家庭成员开炮。三个星期里,都是四尊大炮对着一只小炮开火的局面。而我能做的就是保持沉默。(以前老师教的,沉默是金。我本身是满专心听课的学生。)但是在考完试之后,我因为要为准备出国的事而烦恼不已的时候,那四尊大炮开足火力,在我出没的时候攻击,很不幸运的,我崩溃了。他妈的,我从小到大也都没有这么样地哭过,过后我采取的政策就是将自己变成一个聋子。效果不错,至少我有受到保护。这个家令我彻底的失望。(但是我还是很爱我的妈妈和爸爸,其他两个,算了吧……)

7th-9th Dec 2007 在上飞机的前三天,我跟随了我的师姐,柠檬姐姐和我的辩论老师,卓昌哥哥到吉隆坡去看影展。还认识到了一个新的朋友,鱼柳小姐。这三天裹过得非常非常得开心。看了不少电影,双脚也踏上了不少的路程……所有家里所给予的不愉快感蒸发了,变成蒸气消失到空气里去。虽然我为大家带来很多麻烦,但还是希望得到你们的原谅。无论如何,小弟实在非常感谢大姐你这三天的关照,真的好希望明年的欧洲电影节可以在和你一起参加。当然少不了梁先生。不过我没有和你们看完余下的电影,实在感到有那么一点的可惜。上飞机那天,刚巧和晓慧同一架飞机去到荷兰。在飞机上认识了一位朋友,恬仪妹妹。她非常健谈,一路在飞机上我们两人都谈得非常愉快。在换飞机的时候,送走了晓慧之后,我又和她谈起话来。之后就到我上飞机了。哇,飞机上有好多‘鬼’呀!飞机上闷死了,所以我拍了两个小时的照片。

10th Dec 2007 到了巴塞罗那机场的时候,因为只有我一个人,所以事事都非常小心,连上厕所都不敢。好了,出了机场,满怀期待会看到我熟悉的脸孔来接我,然后一个热情的拥抱。望了一望,没有!我心里害怕死了!人生地不熟,语言文化也完全不通。我真的不知道该怎么办才好。而我的对策就是,耐心地等,因为我已经吓傻了。等了差不多二十分钟,突然间有一个人拍了拍我的背。我转身一望,我不认识他。我再仔细的望了又望。原来是我的老豆,Benet,他比起上次我认识他,瘦了整整三十五公斤!!吓到了吧……在下一秒里,我正个人完完全全地被他抱在怀里。他吻了我一吻。我立即感受到了无比的温暖,有家的感觉。之后我们就回到家里。虽然时隔两年,但是我丝毫都没有不熟悉的感觉,这个家给了我‘家’的感觉。回到家,我先和我的哥哥,Carlos拥抱,一阵轻松喜悦的心情从心里头涌了出来。之后就是大妹妹,Laura,然后就是我的妈妈,Rosa(她是我看过最犀利的职业妈妈),再来就是干妹妹,Jess。

到了下午,我去了我小妹妹,Maria的幼儿园接她放学。我等了又等。她终于出来了。她很快地跑到我的身上我抱了她起来。吻了她一下,她又好像两年前般的躲在妈妈的身后,不好意思。我拖着她的手回到了车上。然后我们去了公公婆婆的家。我最爱那个地方了。因为我自小就只有婆婆陪伴在身边,而婆婆也在我八岁时离开了。所以我特别得珍惜,也非常的感激,更不想忘了他们的关照。在那房子里,只看到婆婆。然后我们去了公公的摩哆店找他,虽然找不到,但是看到了Rosa的两个弟弟。之后就回家了。

***这就是我的另一个家,是一个温馨及不计较的家。虽然不在血缘上不是这个家的一分子。但我在精神上已深深地融入了这个家。 当然,家家有本难念的经。其实难念的经背后,当然也少不了快乐的回忆。 总而言之,珍惜现在家里有的(当然我所说得是在精神层面,而不是在物质方面)……现在拥有的未必不好,要想想还有其他比你更不幸的人。可能连一个完美的家庭也都没有。

***总结而言,活好当下,知足常乐!