These are the jokes i found from my friends. It's quite funny~
JOKE 1
While walking down the street one day a Malaysian Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
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His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
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"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
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"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
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"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
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"Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Yang Berhormat.
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"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says St. Peter.
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And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
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Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves on lobsters, caviar and the most expensive food there is.
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Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
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Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
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The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
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"Now it' s time to visit heaven."
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So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
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"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
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The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think Ai yam better off in hell."
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So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
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He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
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The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
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"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
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The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning just like you during an election...... Today you voted."
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VOTE WISELY IN THE COMING ELECTION
JOKE 2
１、Pak Lah, Najib And Sami Vellu 同坐直升機巡視。
Sami Vellu 說：'如果我丟一千塊下去，撿到那一個人一定很高興。'
Najib 說：'如果我丟兩張五百元下去，那就有兩個人很高興了。'
Pak Lah 說：'如果我丟十張一百元下去，就有十個人很高興了。'
這個時候 ........
駕駛員喃喃自語地說：'何不把自己都丟下去，讓兩千一百萬人都高興呢？'
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2、Sami Vellu 希望提高自己的聲望，想要發行一款有自己肖像的郵票.....
發行過了一個多月之後，Sami Vellu 想要問看看視察看看銷路如何.....
Sami Vellu ： '銷售情形怎麼樣？'
郵政總局局長：'還算不錯，只不過常常有人抱怨黏不牢！Sami Vellu ： '怎麼會呢？' Sami Vellu 隨手拿了一張郵票，塗了一點口水在郵票背面，便試貼在信封上 ....
Sami Vellu ：' 這樣不是黏得很緊嗎？'
郵政總局局長： '可是......大家....都把口水吐在正面啊 ......'
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3、深夜，Najib 去買宵夜，結果在路上遇到搶匪 …
搶匪拿著槍指著 Najib 說：' 把身上的錢交出來！'
Najib 勃然大怒說：'你這什麼態度？我可是堂堂Vice Prime Minister 耶！'
搶匪：'喔，那……把我的錢還來。 '
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4、某天，Prime Minister 、Parliment members...等大官一起參加一個會議，結果發生連環車禍，送至醫院急救，記者們聞風趕至醫院....
稍久，醫生出來了，記者忙著問'醫生！醫生！Prime Minister 有救嗎？'
醫生沮喪的搖搖頭說：'唉 ..Prime Minister 沒救了...'
記者又問：'醫生！醫生！Minister 有救嗎？'
醫生又沮喪的搖搖頭說：'唉 ...也沒救了...'
記者就問：'那 ...到底誰有救？'
醫生精神一振說： 'Malaysia 有救了！'
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5、有一天Sami Vellu 往某家精神病院視察，所有的病人都站在走廊上高聲歡呼，
Sami Vellu 萬歲！Sami Vellu 萬歲！
只有一名病人面無表情，對Sami Vellu 不理不睬。
Sami Vellu 看到了，問院長說：'那位病人為什麼不對我歡呼呢？'
院長：'因為他今天精神非常正常。'
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6、一輛競選車載著Sami Vellu 競選團隊開到鄉村去造勢，不幸在山間小路上翻車。
正在農田作活的老農民看見這情景，就趕到出事地點，可是車上的人都死光了。
于是他挖了一個土坑，把幾個政客都埋了。
過了幾天，負責事故勘察的警察找到那個老農民，問他那幾個政客到哪里去了，老農民說己經埋了。
警察趕緊追問：'他們都死了嗎？ '
老農回答說：'嗯…，我看到Sami Vellu 在我埋他的時候大叫說他還沒死。'
警察說：'那你怎麼也把他埋了？'
老農說：'你知道的嘛? 這個Sami Vellu 從不說實話。
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These are purely jokes i found, don't get angry by them. Just laugh them off.
These jokes are taken from the blog of my friend, Franson. Thank you for these!
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